Massage and God talks: Continued…

So why am I saying I’m talking about God now? Very simple - and I’ll get to it.

I’ve been doing injury treatment massage for the last 7 years. I have averaged somewhere around 10 hours of intensive massage a week over the course of that 7 years.

Back when I was working at Monroe Therapeutic massage clinic in Totem Lake, Washington, I would do as many as 25 to 30 hours a week of problem-solving, bodily-demanding massage.

I saw everything: I saw lots of people who’d suffered from car wrecks, stress injuries, work falls and injuries, recovery from surguries, foot issues, airplane crashe victims, people who’d fallen from 5-story buildings, leg/hip and sciatic issues, carpal tunnel, thoracic outlet syndrome, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome and whiplash - to name a few.

I was a workhorse. I thought I would always want to work like that. In my youthful idealistic and naive thinking, I thought “I want to do this for the rest of my life! Surely I will want to work this many hours for the rest of my life too!”

yeah….

NOT TRUE!

So as I mentioned in my previous post; I realized just about 2 weeks ago, that I was tired of working that many massage hours in a week. It was difficult to admit that to myself since I had equated the desire to work lots of massage hours in a week to my passion and love for massage.

I thought that admitting that I didn’t want to work so many hours meant that I didn’t love massage anymore.

Of course, this is not true. I very much love massage but I admit that working more than 10 hours/ appointments of Deep tissue every week is not what I want to do anymore. My body isn’t feeling up to it and my mind seems to have a limit to how long it can be in that deep tissue/injury treatment state.

I had an identity crisis - not to mention - a good lot of fear around how to make money and pay the bills when I my ideal massage hours would not pay for my office, my home, my car and my life.

I was totally freaking out, man.

I looked for the answers in teachings I had studied for the last 10 or so years. Wayne Dyer had said in one of his talks that when you find your “heart’s passion” or “that thing that inspires you without fail” that it will get you up in the morning, fulfill your needs, make you prosperous, attract the perfect people and situations to you…

I had secretly been wanting that “heart’s desire” experience for years. Underneath my obvious love for massage, I was looking at my practice thinking “I really love this - I’ll always want it in my life - I’ll always be practicing massage - but… this is not my passion - it doesn’t do that thing he talks about - I’m getting tired of it (oh crap!)”

The first step was admitting I had a problem.

The next step, for me at least, was opening myself up to the answers for what to do besides massage. My pre-requisets were:
1. do something that requires my mind and not my physical exertion so much
2. do something that I can do NOW - as apposed to going back to school.
3. do something that, every morning when I wake up, I’m excited about the activities I am doing.
4. it has to be fun
5. it has to make me money.

In order to make this more short and less long and drawn-out: I talked to lots of people, meditated, prayed and cried and screamed.

What came to me was very interesting. The first few ideas were pretty easy to do but will take some leg work.

Here they are:
1. get deep tissue LMP subletters for the Broadway Massage Freek office
2. Hold classes on: how to give good massage, care for carpal tunnels, couple’s massage and other workshops all about educating the general population on massage and how to care for themselves in a bodywork type of way
3. Consultation for new LMP’s: inform them on the industry, what’s available, how to make a long career in massage and how to get their needs met over a long period of time as an active LMP

It was a good start. I had a conversation with a good friend of mine, Barry Hurd, who, if you do not know, is something of a jack of all trades. He has had jobs and hobbies that include everything from computer fixing and marketing to sword making and night-club management.

He told me I needed to do something totally different from massage. Just get out of the field and expand my experience and my mind. It scared me. I was attached to massage. For the last 7 years - that’s all I’ve been up to. But I took the advice and stayed open.

About 2 weeks ago - I went to Texas to visit my Grandmother in Texas. It was a trip I’d planned 3 months or more before. It was interesting timing as I was in the thick of my fear and wondering what I was ever going to do. Funny thing: my Grandma is a republican Christian right-wing 89 year old living-in-Texas-for-40-plus-years sort of gal. Her “walk with God” is amazing to me.

NOw! before you run screaming - just remember, I am not a christian or a republican, nor has my grandmother converted me to a Baptist. (tho I did take the Lord Jesus Christ as my persoanl saviour… again… for like the 8th time in my life)

She and I have an interesting relationship. I don’t tell her that I hang out with polyamorous, swinging kinky people - not a chance - but I do talk about God with her.

I have been “into” new age, buddhism, philosophy and the study of Law of attraction (etc.) for the last 9 or so years. It all started with a little well-known book called “Conversations with God.” That book got me started down a path of study that I will always be interested in.

Getting back to my Grandmother in Texas: I had a change of environment. I spent time with this super-godly woman, we prayed a lot and I just laid it out for her that I was scared and didn’t know what I was going to do for career or cash. Often she just laughed as if she knew something and wasn’t letting me in on the joke.

Then a most amazing thing happened. We visited a dress shop in my grandma’s small town of Cleburne - she owns the building in which the dress shop is located. I was inspired as I looked thru the selection of wedding gowns, ball gowns and formal dresses realized there was a work of art on every hanger - even the sale rack.

My mind started buzzing and I started talking to the son of the shop lady - I talked to him about 1 hour strait on how the shop had national potential and I rattled off ideas on how to get nation-wide interest and sales.

Then his mother (the shop owner) came back from where ever she was and they listened to me, raptly, for the next 2 hours as I talked about blogs, consultation, networking, buyers, magazine coverage, strategies and tactics on how to make their business boom.

My Grandma and I walked out of that store and for sure, we knew that INSPIRATION had occurred! Praise God - a sign had been given!

That experience opened the floodgates up for me. After that - I knew that I would find my answers. I knew that I could totally do some sort of work that was fun and inspiring to me.

During that weekend and ever since then - I have come to realize that my heart’s desire - the thing I’m always passionate about was right under my nose the whole time - I love talking about god.

No matter what state of rest or unrest I am in, no matter where I’m “at” - I love to talk about, study, practice, and teach faith, god and religions.

I do not have an assigned or self-proclaimed religion. I do not see the point.

I study and practice a few of them. I even enjoy talking about faith with those who are agnostic or atheist. There’s validity in all the ways that humans have sought to understand life, God and the obvious intelligence and organization of this planet and universe.

This is a really long post. I wonder if anyone will get thru it. ha!

It doesn’t really matter to me anymore. I’m so tired of worrying about losing clients or reputation points because of this blog. I have been so stuck as to what I should write when everything in me says, “Write in it like it’s your LiveJournal - only don’t make it about love and boys… make it about business, society, massage, your own experience and all you’re raw, real opinions and views on those things - just make it a touch more professional.”

My rough plan for this blog is to write in it more often without so many fears and filters. I might just post some poetry or short random quotes. I need to do anything that just gets me off this fear of being visible.

I will post updates on how my massage practice is changing: rates hours and such. I will also be posting about classes, salons, workshops and support groups I will be having. I’ll get going on some experience stories in injury treatment so I can inform the public of what massage can do for injuries. Client education has always been a big deal to me.

After this - I shall have to talk to the SEO gurus and see how to get rankings in the things that I want to be found for. I’m not too pushy on that one. I figure things are still forming and I’m not entirely sure what searches will benefit my new-found career outlets.

In conclusion - I am truly pleased and excited for the future even though I do not know what will come or take shape. I do know, however, that I need not worry. The answers will come - sometimes it’s just ding the question to ask and then asking the question that can be difficult.

Please contact me with any questions. Leave comments telling me what you think because I am interested. Call me for massage - I’m really quite good, you should give me a try. And please, give me a message or call about your thoughts on God. I want to talk to people about faith. I would love to hear people’s stories and histories around god, wether its pretty or painful.

OH! and do know - I will NEVER try and make you believe in a religion or way of thinking that I like or practice. You’re life and your path is perfect for you. I just want to hear about it!